Change happens when one resolves to become that which it does not yet remember.

waking through layers, and layers, expanding, condensing, realizing.
a minimal breadth of capability, a fractional expanse of what could be me:
i can do anything once i learn the motions
i can say anything once i learn the language
i can be anyone once i learn the living
I am a vessel for knowledge built of ability and inherently responsive
mirror for what comes upon me

A mirror is but a chameleon who loves,
who wears the camouflage of reality.

a vessel who is also human.
a being somehow other than what i contains or spills
and somehow other than what i am not.

--wake me further.

tripping on chips and orange juice, we
slip in to grins and lyric use.
soon we unravel, the food is suspect
our supper laced with laughter, hoo!
noodles, peanut, yogurt, who knew?
thank you.

it all looks so clear from here
just eat good food and you'll be good food.
right?
yes, good, i thought so.

because otherwise it's hard to wake up, and

... i don't want to write here today.

bena!~

or some ather expletive.

I'm calling for someone who has been having good days this past week. Anyone?
it seems like the drivel has cought up with us. edge-snuck its way in the seeping cracks of reality, my reality aches for better days, knowing that this should have been them. should have been the days we long for later, the amazing days to regale to children. the days we changed the world with the change in our back pockets. my head is filled with lint from pockets overdrawn. or maybe i just forgot which one i left the cash in, the remainents of some exchange with heaven. the days we stood and poked holes in the sky with our pinata bats and rained down glory for the scavengers. leprecan gold. no spelling, no selling, just give it away, give up seising the days, and give in to our better natures. mother's nature is to give it all? ha, no. what would be left then? cradles of dust.
i need to work the dust out of my joints, need motion, bre-ease and sun.
goodbye, i'm going to dance across the cloudtops with my fingertips just barely inserting into the mesh,
like testing bread before it rises,
fingers dripping with flour-snow and feet just barely skimming rocks as jagged as this timeline feels. an electroencephalograph-line roller coaster cascading down and up my hills between the vitamins and sugar pills that fake my brain into feeding signals to my body that it's been fed, and so can keep on breathing-walking onto the next toy, the next joy-puzzle screaming "complete me!" and "you never can!" i won't, because the puzzle was once whole, and still is.
it just looks like this piece is in that room and the next on the moon and another stuck in a loom and....


i'm going outside to feel THIS day.

I've begun a quirky and unoriginal side project: i rescued a small notebook from the clutches of waste management. It looks brand new, and is covered with cheerful colors, bees and flowers, but with orange tones a bit too blood-hued, and shadows just a bit too black to really evoke happy thoughts in me.

So i put edgy thoughts in it, written in cute/sappy/frilly script.

stage taken.
thunder acquired.
crush deleted.

a moment of a voice heard through a speaker
and all these pockets open up throughout this body
offering their depths and contents, trained by instinct
reminded by vibration, to stretch out and gape wide
reaching for a morsel, waiting, of that voice.

cell phones twist things so.